Connecting with the inner children within us isn’t always easy.
At first, it can appear as they just want to cry, but it’s natural. The lost segments of our childhood had to fade away for good reasons, including fear, abuse, neglect and misunderstanding. The juvenile fragments of us weren’t allowed to project their overwhelming feelings, so they took away the feelings with them.
When we call back these lost inner children back, we have to be prepared for their distressing expressions.
Parenting Your Inner Child
This is a task of calming the inner child, and can’t be done all at once. It takes time to parent one’s inner children; with time, they teach you what they need. It is crucial to be patient like you’ve adopted a real child with a troubled history.
The feelings accompanied while calming the inner child should be taken seriously. In this context, soothing doesn’t refer to pampering and asking them to stop crying, as undergone in the past. The goal is to be a different kind of parent, one who actually listens to the child’s feelings.
Listening is the first step of calming. The child may fail to express why she or he is sad, angry or afraid. The key is to focus on the feelings.
Find a peaceful and safe place to sit and listen. Set free the feelings. And even though it may be unpleasant, embrace them.
If the feelings are too strong to bear all at one go, tell the child that you will listen for ten, five or two minutes. Promise them to sit down later and listen another time.
How To Soothe The Inner Child
Here’s how it goes:
- Respect and embrace all those tough feelings.
- Physically express your love for this child by holding a stuffed animal or pillow; caressing it as you’d do to comfort a real child.
- Listen to your instincts. Let the child guide you.
- Don’t let in any criticizing voices. Like, don’t let them tell you that it’s childish to sing a lullaby. It’s not childish rather it’s an important practice.
With time your inner child will trust you as you keep on practicing this. Eventually, you will fill the place of the absent parent figure and share the future with your free-spirited and revitalized inner child.
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