If you grew up in a home in which both parents or even just one parent was a narcissistchances are you have been affected by it in a lot of different ways. You may not even notice that these things relate back to your childhood but they do.
When you were growing up did your mother or father second guess you all the time or ruin happy moments with their own selfish behaviors? Things like that can have cause serious lasting issues in you as a person. When it comes to moving on from these things you first must recognize and address them. Below you will find a list of things that you may be going through and the reason that could be behind them.
1. You have an addiction of some kind whether it is alcohol, food, or even shopping
This could be because your parents in their behavior make you feel trapped or helpless.
2. You have trouble being able to understand your emotions
This could be because your parents minimized your feelings. They were more worried about themselves than you and you suffered because of it.
3. You are more sensitive around people who are bossy
This may be because when you were growing up your parents needed to be the ones that the world was revolving around and you never got the chance to be the one people were paying attention to.
4. You have trouble making decisions
Your parents always second guessed you and criticized your every move so now you do too.
5. You do not know how to process good things
This may relate back to your parents ruining all of the good times being obsessed with themselves. If something good happens your mind always goes straight into thinking about how this could get messed up.
6. You cannot handle confrontation
This could be because your parents always punished you for disagreeing with them even if you were not arguing, just simply speaking your mind and voicing your opinion.
7. You are a people pleaser
Your parents always guilted you into putting their needs above your own so now you do this without thinking in life. You want everyone to like you and you want people to want to be around you to make up for the way your parents treated you.
8. You have trouble letting people in
No one ever paid much attention to you at home when they were supposed to so it created a closed off mindset for you. You cannot let anyone in because no one ever took the time to show you that you should.
9. You have trouble relaxing
After having dealt with the unpredictability in your home life you have trouble winding down. This can cause tons of issues because when you cannot relax the stress only keeps building.
10. You are too hard on yourself
Your parents were never happy with anything you accomplished so you are far too hard on yourself now. Nothing you do is ever good enough. When someone else makes a mistake it is not a big deal but if you do, even if your boss tells you it is okay you still beat yourself up on the inside.
11. You think you are too much for people to have to deal with
This is because your parents never bothered to put your needs first as they were supposed to, growing up they would tell you that you were just too much and now as an adult, it is burned into the back of your mind.
12. You have trouble trusting people
This is because growing up your narcissistic parent or parents would always let you down. Trust for you is something that can rarely be attained, if you’ve given it to anyone it is only around a handful of people if that.
13. You worry too much
Your parents always kept you on edge growing up so now everything has to be perfect even though you are on your own. You stress far too much over the small things in life that should not matter.
14. You settle
People who have dealt with narcissistic parents often settle in life because they see any step out of the situation they were in as a step up. You settle in relationships, you settle in jobs, you just settle.
15. You have trouble making friends
Now you may have a few true friends, but when it comes to making new ones you have no clue where to start. This could be because when you were younger your parents told you that you didn’t have friends for a reason that they made up for instance ‘you can’t even clean right no wonder the kids at school don’t like you’ and so forth. The narcissistic parent will make you feel like they are your only friend but they don’t even really like you either.
Knowing that your parents suck to this extent at a young age and not being able to do anything about it also takes a toll on you. Learning to ignore the bad things about your own parents is devastating. While some coping strategies may have managed to get you this far you do not need them anymore and they are holding you back.
You are not powerless in this, you can get control of your life if you really want it. Remember that while your past is a little fucked your future does not have to be. To learn more about the narcissistic parent check out the video below.
Source: Awareness Act
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